My wonderful husband gave me a word survey a few days ago in response to a conversation we had about personalities and characteristics. I had been feeling quite fragmented for some time, feeling like I wanted to be a certain way or trying to be who I thought that people wanted, or trying to be like someone that everybody liked. Never allowing myself to be me. Different. Unique. Fearfully and wonderfully made.
Anyway, in this word survey were 5 rowswith five boxes on each row. Each box contained three words. You were to number the boxes according to the one that was most like you to the least like you.
At the end you added them up and got a score for each row, which in turn was assigned to a color.
My color was yellow. As I read the characteristics of my color I was not happy at all. In fact I become very angry. I saw all those characteristics in a negative light, and not the person that wanted to be at all. It did not help that my husband found it very amusing. Every time I said or did something he woud refer to the list: responsible, dependable, structured, careful, serving, opinionated, business-like in manner, etc. The words that I really did not like were under negative ways to view yellow: dull and boring, unimaginative, controlling, rigid. Nobody wants to be viewed that way. Especially when you don't see yourself that. But after a couple of days, I recognized these traits in myself and laughed.
Now, I don't have to get hung up on the negative view of me because I am more than a list of words on a personality survey, but I can accept the traits that are mine and work on other ones that I want to strengthen, and in this way, I am accepting me (yellow)
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